THE MIDWEEK HEATER STAYS ON

Let’s not act like this was normal.

We went 5-for-5 on our Champions League bets this week — sweeping both semifinals and finishing +5.4 units across just two games. Over the past 20 days, we’re now +20 units.

If you followed along Tuesday and Wednesday…
🤑 You cashed the Inter-Barça over.
🤑 You cashed on PSG’s home dominance.
🤑 You cashed on Dembele and Saka TSOA.
🤑 You even cashed Buckets’ Barca TT.
(Lewy didn’t start, so we didn’t ride it.)

We could gloat.
We could do a moonwalk.
But there are 12 more bets locked for Thursday’s triple-header.

So let’s get the hell back to work.

🔮 THURSDAY’S 12-PACK OF MADNESS

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 MANCHESTER UNITED vs ATHLETIC CLUB 🇪🇸

United lead 3-0 after the first leg, but IPJ sees danger:

• ✅ Andre Onana 3+ Saves (-105)

  “They’ve got to take shots. If you don’t shoot, you don’t score.”

• 💣 Long Shot: Bruno Fernandes 2+ Shots on Target (+310)

  “Goal scorer, goal creator, best player for Manchester United this season.”

• 🪣 Buckets Best Bet: Both Teams To Score (-125)

  “I think Athletic Club will score… if they have enough quality to beat Onana, they’ll get their goal.”

❄️ BODØ/GLIMT vs TOTTENHAM 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

3–1 down, home leg in the Arctic, and IPJ smells violence.

• ✅ Bodø/Glimt Over 1.5 Team Total Goals (+110)

• ✅ Both Teams To Score + No Draw (+115)

  “I think this game is going to be a high scoring affair.”

• 🪣 Buckets Best Bet: Bodø Draw No Bet (+110)

  “It’s a tidy play. It’s a dangerous play. But who knows?”

🔵 CHELSEA vs DJURGÅRDEN 🇸🇪

Chelsea leads 4–1 and IPJ thinks it’s over early.

• ✅ Over 1.5 Chelsea Team Goals in 1st Half (+100)

• ✅ Nicolas Jackson Anytime Goalscorer (-105)

  “Make sure he’s in the lineup. But I do know one thing: this guy needs goals.”

• 💣 Nicolas Jackson 2+ Goals (+475)

  Half-unit sprinkle recommended.

• 🪣 Buckets Best Bet: Djurgården +2.5 Goal Handicap (-140)

  Quiet value on the visitors to keep it respectable.

🇮🇹 FIORENTINA vs REAL BETIS 🧸

2–1 down after a sloppy first leg, Fiorentina are furious.

• ✅ Fiorentina Over 1.5 Team Total Goals (+115)

• ✅ Moise Kean Anytime Goalscorer (+180)

  “17 goals in Serie A. His best ever scoring season. I fancy him to turn up in a big way.”

• 🪣 Buckets Best Bet: Both Teams To Score (-130)

  “Betis will get a goal… but Fiorentina will too.”

🗣️ QUOTE OF THE MONTH: IPJ on Inter v Barcelona

Spoiler: it wasn’t.

📺 RECEIPTS 🧾

❤️ A NOTE ON BUCKETS 📈

The outpouring of support from hundreds of you has been overwhelming.

And we’re touched.

So for those who’ve asked:

Buckets remains alive, well… and still super cute.

We expect him to be back soon.

Sleep well, Toothbrush Army.

We’re back Friday — win or lose — with the full weekend preview.

Until then…

LET’S KEEP SNAPPING NECKS AND CASHING CHECKS CUZ IT’S STOPPAGE TIME