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🎯 Buckets’ Best Bets for TODAY

🇰🇿 Kairat Almaty v Olympiacos 🇬🇷

🪣 Buckets: Both Teams to Score (-115)
The Greeks ship mad goals and the Kazakhs have scored nearly 1 per game; you do the math we did the math and yeah, Kairat could score again. Put a buck on it.

🪣🍩 A Buckets Sprinkle if you’re feeling INSANE: BTTS Both Halves (+1500)
If this one wins, you’ll be rich and I’ll eat my hat 👒

🇮🇹 Inter Milan v Liverpool 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

🪣 Buckets: Inter Over 1.5 Team Total(-110)
Liverpool apparently sucks now so when you pass on this bet and the Reds concede another 3, don’t go blaming the Egyptian for your woes - it’s on you and Arne Slot.

🇩🇪 The Ghosts of Bayern Past & Present PARLAY

🪣 Buckets: Harry Kane ATGS vs Sporting + Lewandowski ATGS vs Eintracht (+150)
Buckets reasons that Kane always scores AND Lewandowski always scores SO they both will score and you’ll earn 15 new cents on your old dime. Add in Lothar Mattheus ATGS and you can really get those odds up to ten, eleven digits and maybe buy that island you’ve always wanted.

🎯 Buckets Looks Ahead to WEDNESDAY

🇦🇿 Qarabag v Ajax 🇳🇱

🪣 Buckets: Qarabag Over 1.5 Team Total (-120)
Remember that time we were all like “Kairat Almaty scores goals and Olympiacos concedes them and that’s why you should bet on Kairat to score”? Well, same thing here but swap out Kazakhs for Azerbaijanis and the English for the Dutch (#PutinGoals) and here were are, winning more coin.

🇪🇸 Real Madrid v Manchester City 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

🪣 Buckets: Erling Haaland Anytime Goalscorer (-110)
Remember that time there was a World Cup draw where they gave a peace prize and where Norway was drawn into the same group as France and we all said OH COOL IT’S HAALAND VS MBAPPE? Well screw that, THIS is Haaland vs Mbappe. And you better believe the Large Nord likes scoring goals in front of Urban Spaniards. It’s in his dating profile!

🇩🇪 Borussia Dortmund v Bodø/Glimt 🇳🇴

🪣 Buckets: Both Teams to Score + Over 2.5 Goals (-110)
Remember that time we were all like “Erling Haaland is Norwegian and he scores mad goals”? Well if your thing is betting on goals related to Norway, drop that buffalo nickel on your Bodø Boys as they visit MY boys from industrial western Alemania. Everyone scores, the yellow team wins, and you’ve suddenly got that No-Ads-on-Peacock money.

🎯 The +460 PARLAY by Ian Paul Joy

🇦🇿 Kairat Almaty Over 0.5 Goals
+ 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Harry Kane Anytime Goalscorer
+ 🇪🇸🇩🇪 Barcelona-Frankfurt Over 4.5 Goals
= +460

The last time Buckets & IPJ were this well-aligned, the increased gravitational pull shifted the poles and made straight sheckels for everyone watching. We can say with absolute certainty that this parlay will either hit big or lose regular. Bet responsibly?

📈PRECAPPING MATCHDAY SIX

If we get goals from Kairat Almaty & Olympiacos, a pair from Inter and a pair from Qarabag, plus one each from Kane, Lewy and Erling, along with goalfests at Dortmund and at Barcelona - well, that would all be pretty cool IMHO. Your single shilling could turn into a king’s ransom of American green.

📈”IN THE YEAR 2000”
aka playing the futures market

LOOK I know what you’re thinking - Bayern, PSG, Real Madrid & Inter Milan are all on 12 points. So why are their lines spread from +600 to +5000?
First, STOP YELLING AT ME
Second, it’s all about their remaining schedules, bro.
🇩🇪 Bayern has Sporting, Union Saint-Gilloise, and PSV Eindhoven 🎂
🇫🇷 PSG has Athletic Club, Sporting, and Newcastle 🤔
🇪🇸 Real Madrid has Man City, Monaco, and Benfica 🤔
🇮🇹 Inter Milan has Liverpool, Arsenal, and Dortmund 😱

My take - if you have a hard-on for Real Madrid to get all 3 points at home tomorrow against City, this +2000 long-shot might be kinda juicy. 3 points today, 6 more to come, a little Arsenal slip against Inter and you’ll be big pimping all over town.

I know we all have our own individual love/hate relationships with the Dutch (damn Hapsburgs) but really, what would it take for AJAX to make like the UK in Eurovision and finish on ZERO POINTS, cashing this +220 (and an 👀 opening +3500)?
🇳🇱 AJAX would have to LOSE to Qarabag, Villarreal, and Olympiacos - considering that two of those sides are in the bottom 4 (and the other is Qarabag), it’s gotta be considered a long-shot.

Instead, let’s take a look at your favorite Norwegian fuck machines, BODØ/GLIMT - Bodø doesn’t have a winnable game left - they’re at Dortmund, home against Man City, and at Atletico Madrid. Granted, the 2 points they’ve already earned are why they sit at +500 - but when they finish with 2 points (and after City & Atletico BOTH do what big teams do at the end of group stages and run up the score on minnows like GLIMT), maybe this future cashes and loads up your bagel with that tasty Norwegian salmon everyone’s talking about.

🤷 SO LIKE WHAT ELSE

It’s been a minute, huh? You thought we’d ghosted you but trust us, it’s not you, it’s us. We got busy with other things - work, life, kids, dogs, snow, cars, meals, airplanes. You know the deal. You all have your own work, life, kids, dogs, snow, cars, meals and airplanes to deal with. Life, amirite?

Stay sleazy, Bucketheads. Hasta eventually. ✌️